The scary adult world awaits….

26 01 2010

Hey….fast and enhanced adult world.

I am Cheyenne. I am 16 and I am SCARED AS HELL.

There are many reasons to why I am scared as hell. Firstly, my school posting results are out in about 10.25 hours from now. That would be 8am on the 27th of January Singapore local time that the Ministry of Education releases the posting results. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN GET INTO THE SCHOOL(S) OF MY CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!! Secondly, I have another fear concerning the school(s) of my choice. You see, I am eligible to enter a Junior College( JC) where it is compulsory for me to take Malay as a subject. If you haven’t been following my blog, or if I have yet to mention it then I will mention it now. I SUCK AT MY MOTHER TONGUE! Finally my mum told me I might not be able to study in an overseas university because we might not afford it.

NOW I AM SCARED AS HELL. I want to cry so much. Not that I hate Singapore Universities. I just really want to get out of this country. Plus there are universities that offer me better Drama or Marine Biology courses. I am currently looking at scholarships. I AM 16 AND I AM LOOKING FOR SCHOLARSHIPS!!!!!

There are other options. I am looking for a part time job. I am scared to death as it is and I don’t mind tutoring little kids to help fund my college courses. I don’t want to commit to a job just yet. I don’t know what my timetable is like until I enter a school (which I hope is soon).

I feel like a kid living in an adult world. My parents tell me don’t grow up too fast but the fact of the matter is that I have to. I can’t survive in this world without ‘ growing up fast’ . The harsh reality is hitting me hard, and I am not even facing the worst of it yet. I should have taken up a job.

I think when I am all settled, I’ll apply to a tuition center.

I am a kid living in an adult world. I wanted to grow up fast. I wanted to be free and I wanted to be extremely adult. Now I wish time would stop. Just for me. I don’t want to grow up any more.

I am scared for what the world will bring to me.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t turn 16…..

Lots of luck,



Nothing in life is free.

14 01 2010

And this doesn’t even apply to money!

Seriously. This post is free. The only thing you will get free from me. But remember, you had to buy the laptop,pay for the internet access ( unless you are in a free hotspot) and you have to pay the electrical bill at the end of the month for charging your laptop. If you ask me where did I get this silly explanation above, I would like to thank my class 4/9 of 2009. I remember this answer and I know which girl said it ( all girls school remember?) but I can’t remember the question…hmmm

Anyways I hope you don’t mind the above wackiness. I am getting to my point.

Last Monday at 2pm, the GCE O level results were released. All my friends and schoolmates went back to school to collect our results. Some had tears of happiness, some had tears of sorrow and some ( like me) just could not believe their results.

Before I go on, I would just like to express my reason to why this post is so late. It is because, if I posted it any earlier it might come off as a bragging post rather than an inspirational one. I will not post the actual results like how many As and Bs I got but I will tell you that I am a 12 pointer. It is not a perfect score but it comes pretty close.

Anyways, to all those who got great results, congrats and I believe all of you will agree with me that we worked our butts off for those results. We either worked unbelievably hard or studied using mind maps, audio tapes or other methods of studying and revising that we know will work for us.

However, I do not wish to discourage those who did not do so well. Exams are not for everyone. This is why school does not work well.

If you were present at any Singaporean school ( I don’t know about the rest of the world), you could hear people tell the top students that they are so smart. “GENIUS AH YOU!” is the slang version or “You are VERY SMART LA!”. I had people tell me what too. Well not really. I am not really smart. In fact I entered secondary school with a low Primary School Leaving examination grade. I worked my butt of for this exam because I had a goal. Some didn’t do well because they were unsure of their goals, others just did not have any and sometimes it is external reasons why one does not do well.

However, work your butt 0ff. Take it from me. I squeezed my brain during the examinations and worked my butt of months before.

I have a friend, Herman. A few months he asked me for my goal grade. I told him 6 which is all As. He said it was impossible. I am from a convent school. A neighbourhood school. I should not dream big.

I might not have reached that goal but I did pretty well, well enough to enter the school which will offer me drama.

A few days ago Herman asked me for my secrets.

I don’t have secrets. I just tried my best and left the rest to God.

Ok. I do have secrets. But when I tell you them, you will think they aren’t really secrets cause you already heard of it. You just haven’t tried it yet.

I use colourful notes, check my work, revise according to how well my brain can cope and use loads of helpful and inspiring phrases. I visualise my results why before hand. You must be a dreamer and you must have courage

Dreams are like stars you may never touch them but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny ( Anonymous)

Courage is not the absence of fear but the acquired ability to move beyond fear. ( Matthew Kelly)

A tribute to all dads

21 06 2009

Happy Father’s Day to my Dad and all dads of the world. Here are a bunch of random sentences put together to form something special to dad’s and their kids.

Dads are the greatest gift you can ever have.

So cherish your dad.

Make your dad proud of you.

Make your dad smile.

Tell your dad you love him.

Dad will always be there for you.

Dad is never afraid of anything,

unless, of course, it is losing you.

Dad is perfect in every single way.

Dad loves you.

Cares for you

Is hardly the bad guy.

Dad always wipes away those tears,

and turns that frown upside down.

Dad tells the best stories,

of pirates, giants, soldiers

and of his life’s worth of experiences.

So here is to all dads

especially mine

for being so loving and forever kind.

Dad will always believe in you

and me

so thank you Dad,

for giving me everything that I could ever need.

Happy father’s day

Love Cheyenne Phillips.

AWARE: should we beware it or not?

9 05 2009

So the Singapore Goverment is trying to standardise sex education. I may be wrong but that is what I get from reading the article about AWARE this morning. One Principal disagreed with the programme because it went against his schools values.

I feel that there should be some guidelines but schools should be given the oppertunity to teach their students in any way they see fit. I am very very grateful I am in an all girls school because if I were not, I have no idea how I would sit through a sex ed class.

I am going to do more reasearch on AWARE and let everyone know about it and my views. Now, my thoughts are still a little foggy. If you have any infomation or would like to share your views on sex education, drop me a comment below or email me at

Friends? Really?

5 05 2009

So I have this friend. Recently he has been insulting and blackmailing his ‘closest friends’. And I, personally have gotten really annoyed with his behaviour. He has been handing out sorrys like they are nothing to him and I see him as very insincere.

This post is on my views only and no one Else’s. I finally gave up with putting up with everything that he gave me and I just can’t take it any more.

He can’t see it. He can’t see it all that he does. I have given up talking to him. I am going to get insulted and blackmailed again. There is no point reasoning with him. Tried and failed and tried and failed. A person can only do so much. I learnt that when I was talking to my school counsellor. She has been great to me and I have learnt a lot from her.

To this friend, only you can make the effort to listen to us. Or well me.

Friends are sincere. How can you be my friend if you aren’t sincere?

I was just thinking….

My Darling DRAMA MAMA juniors

22 04 2009

Dear Diary,
I don’t believe it.
After watching them work hard, shed the tears and sweat, they days of staying back extra late, the sleepless nights to finish home work and study for tests, my darling drama juniors received a sliver for their Singapore Youth Festival Competition(SYF)  in the Central Judging. With a standing ovation, the biggest round of applause ( according to the secondary ones) and the sliver award, my darling DRAMA MAMA juniors are ashamed. The moment my Katrina told me, I ran down faster than ever to find disappointed looks and broken hearts.As we made our way to the AVT where Ms Teo, Ms Tan, Mrs Koh, Mr Flanigin and Madam Nora, students peered at us as they made their way down to the hall. We were drama girls. We made ourselves known. Now, it was known that our SYF results were not to expectations. In the AVT, I was the only non-SYF member and I shared when Mrs Koh asked me to, my feels. I told everyone there how I cried when I didn’t get in, how much I was worried about them during their SYF practises. How much, if I was on stage, getting a standing ovation, no matter what part I played, I would be the happiest girl on earth. I cried with them. I was proud of them. They may have broken our chain of gold (on paper) but they didn’t break the chain of our success and entertainment and also the chain of pride I have for them in my heart. I believe the teachers and staff of SACSS would agree with me.

I wrote the above text during lessons because it was bugging me so much. 9:40 am. It was bugging me like crazy. I just had to get it off my chest. After school, I joined in a meeting between the SYF cast and the leaders. I was invited into listen and for support. Some were still upset but I believe we ended up getting everyone believe that we were proud of them. They did amazing. You know what? I won’t even try to describe how well they did! They entertained. They had fun. To me I don’t care about the silver. That standing ovation was the prize they should be crying about. They should be crying tears of joy.

Let me this way. 4 people said they were a silver while they might have been 200 people in the audience. 200 people gave them a standing ovation. Now, 200 people thought they were fantastic while 4 disagree.

You know what? Look at the numbers. I think they add up nicely.

Research Topic 1: School

19 04 2009

So, my school is trying to get us to prepare for Orals and essays. School happens to be a topic. So this post is about my views.

The reasons why I like school? Well, there are many reasons. School gives me the opportunity to make friends and grow and learn with and about them. I also enjoy learning new facts and information about the world around me. I enjoy working with different classmates and learning their strenghts and weaknesses so that I know who I can work with. School is a very good environment to express talents and is an environment which lets students make mistakes and learn from them easily.

However, the long school hours ( even after the recent adjustments to my school’s timetable) and the different social cliques are the down side of school. School is so much like work life. Students can not enjoy the joys of childhood. Students are exposed to the idea of perfection that having  decent childhood is not easy.

The discipline system in my school to be perfectly honest is not what I would consider an effective system. My school believes in the RESPONSIBLE THINKING PROGRAMME. Basically, when I student breaks a rule, they are sent to the RESPONSIBLE THINKING CLASSROOM ( which is air-conditioned!) to do RESPONSIBLE THINKING and hand in their form to the teacher and not have to return to class. They can take their time to ‘think’ about their actions. Which means they can just go back to class at the end of the lesson. This is so ineffective because students take up class time which they wanted to do in the first place. Also I doubt people who misbehave in class deserve air-conditioning. A better solution would be after school detention. It takes up students free time which they will try to avoid happening. Also, the room used shouldn’t be air-conditioned. A disciple system needs to affect them negatively for them to learn.