facing the unknown

27 03 2010

This is a more personal post and I hope everyone won’t mind.

This morning I didn’t attend a drama club session because I could not wake up. Actually I could I just did not want to. And I just noticed that I broke my perfect record. Never in my life have I let myself slack off and miss a drama session or any other activity for that matter without a valid reason. This year took a hard impact on me and I don’t like where this is going.

Before I entered a JC, I told myself that I need a challenge. I love challenges and I was ready for anything. So I applied to Tampines Junior College. Now I am in. I am doing H2 Chemistry, Math, Theatre Studies and H1 Biology. The A levels are about 18 months away and I am afraid. This is one challenge I am looking straight in the eye and already I feel that I can’t do it.

Upon reflecting, I asked myself  ‘Did your fighting spirt die,Cheyenne, just because you wanted a fresh start?’ I changed my looks and my perspective of myself and entered TPJC, with a new confidence. But I wonder, have I lost my fighting spirit?

I feel ashamed to introduce myself as Cheyenne because the Cheyenne people were great fighters. I feel weak, my body feels like it is crumbling, my soul is falling apart.

I was talking to Dhivya the other day about how hard JC life really is and how much I didn’t think I could make it. I was scared. I did not believe that I was that strong enough I just wanted out.

Now I feel like stepping out of my body for a few moments to slap myself silly. I feel like shouting and yelling at myself.  I am strong enough to face it. God would not put challenges on my path if he knew I would not be able to face them. Life comes with challenges but if we keep turning away from them, can we call ourselves strong? Can we say we are strong?

I want everyone reading to listen and listen well. If you think you can’t make it, you are wrong. You are just putting this big wall around you and forcing yourself to believe that you can’t do it and you allow yourself to dwindle away and become weak.

Pick yourself up. Pull yourself together. Your only enemy is yourself and not the world. Grit your teeth and do something about your situation. Do what is in your control.

It is just one day at a time, facing small tough challenges to overcome the big ones.

Sometimes what lies ahead looks scary, so grab your weapon and walk straight. Who knows? It may not be that scary after all.


A more dangerous world

21 03 2010


read the article first

Strangely enough, these are one of the few things in the world that we know at the back of our heads but it is very pushed to the front until an article  like this shows up and tells us off.

It is amasing what our world is coming too and what ignorence we have not to learn from misfortunes and beliving that nothing will happen to us. It astounds me how much the human race believes it is more powerful than mother nature that we need not care about her ‘ little power’.

To be honest, some of it is human ignorence while some of it is basically how we work.

I just wanted to share

talents are yours

17 03 2010

Hey world,

so I am currently in Tampines Junior College and if any JC students are wondering what my combination is, it’s H2 chem, math and theatre studies and H1 bio. To the rest of the world that didnt understand the above combination just know that I take Theatre studies (TS).

My College has ‘ asked’  everyone to purchase the book ” the 7 habits of highly effective teens’  by sean covey.

They have also ‘ asked’  us to read it. Now, I am reading it for some hope that it will help me in some way in my life.

After reading through the first …oh….30 pages or so, it has.

This morning before drama cca ( not TS lesson) I was reading a page on finding and developing your talents. Now ladies and gentleman, if you recall in my secondary school days, I was indirectly told that I could not act ( but I am not that stupid to believe a word the person said). I love acting. I love the stage. However in 2008 I tried my hand at co-directing a school play and even directing the passion play in my church for the year 2009.

I loved it. it was fun. To an extent, even more fun than acting.

So after reading that section, it made me think ‘ Do I really want to be a cast member for this year’s Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) Competition?’ Now we have the option of becoming a crew member.

So this morning I swapped. And I came back early. giving my mother a shock. She didn’t take the news….as well as I thought she would. I will admit that I originally wanted to be crew and one rehearsal, the instructor pointed to me and said you’ll be the boss! I was in cast.  I kept thinking of changing and even my friend said he wanted to switch from cast to crew so we did it together this morning.

I felt kinda happy and like this burden was lifted off me. I know there is an acting component in TS and I know I will have to act but I wanted to oppertunity to explore other areas. I will improve my acting to the best of my abilities. However I dont want to deny my chance of exploring other possibilities and other areas .

I think it will be fun.

I hope everyone finds and develops a talent. ANY TALENT.

just as long as you are happy, I am happy

The Singaporean Dream

6 03 2010

I am currently studying in a JC. The next step in the educational system here is a University education. This is what society expects of me. Sometimes I wonder I am expect of me.

To be honest, I had no intention of contining my education. If I could, I would drop out and travel the world and see and learn and meet people from different walks of life. However, in this fast-paced world, I can not afford it. I will not survive. Without credentials, a job, money, no one can survive. No one can make a mistake because many know that one mistake can cause you everything.

In fact, making mistakes has become a ‘ crime’  in the Singaporean education culture to the extent that students rather not learn, but memorise their texts and encrave the knowledge in their brains and then just ‘copy and paste’ everything back on their examination papers. This is not only seen in primary and secondary educational institutions but also in JCs. No one in my lectures raise any questions of clarification or possible other doubts. People believe whatever the lecturer says is 100percent true. Not me. I like a clear my doubts. I feel very unsafe with uncleared doubts.

Before I side track further, I would like to talk about my project work presentation assignment. It is a mini competition with in school to improve our presentation skills. The questions is ‘ Youths have a role to play in_________’

I have an idea which I intend to build on tomorrow but for now  I just wanted people to think about youths and their roles in society.