Always do what is best for you.

12 06 2008

Never put yourself in a situation in which you may be harmed, physically or emotionally and if you are in a situation in which you are being harmed, my advise is to get your self out of it now. Thats what I told my friend, Z. Alittle background about her.

Her parents got a divorce when she was 8. She was forced to decide between her mum and dad ( which if you ask me was the dumbest thing court could do! let a 8 year d kid chose between mum and dad???). She picked her dad because she wanted to be close to her late grand mother. After her grandmother passed away, Z went into a depression. Back then I didn’t know her. Her father was a abusive towards her and had a second wife who hated Z’s guts! Z still sees her mum although her custody is under her dad. Her dad wanted her to study like mad. 24 hours study. She was often late for school because she either over slept from staying up late and finishing the work or trying to complete the work. She was expected home half and hour after school ended and if sch ended late, she would be late and end up getting screamed at. She wasn’t allowed friends ( that’s harsh!) and when she did have friends, they abandoned her after her birthday when they saw what she wore. It was a special occasion and she dressed plainly. ( I think her friends are shallow). Her dad hardly gave her enough pocket money and still doesn’t provide her with enough.We met when we entered the same secondary school. We weren’t really close. We just had the same mother tongue class together. She was a loner in her form class. In secondary 2, several of my ‘group’ members was in the same form as her and we started hanging out and getting really close. Ha! She and I are in the same form class now and it is a blast having her around.

So, for all the time we have been close, she has always been talking about requesting the court to change custody to her mum, and after that molester uncle on her dad’s side, we , all 13 of her other best friends, agreed that a change of custody was the best thing for her. Yesterday, she went to court to request for that change, after a year and a half of talking about. Today, this morning, she broke the news to her dad who started screaming at her and before she could yell back and start a scream fest, he left the house. She texted me. I told her to remain calm if he comes back but she told me he’ll come back with her stepmum and the maid and the 3 of them will be screaming at her. She wanted to run with her brother but her mum was working and wasn’t home. She had no where. I told my mum about it and she offered Z and her bro to come our place while mum and my sister went out shopping.

The whole time I was texting her, I kept telling her that she should so what is best for her and what ever she decides all her 13 bestfriends are behind her 200%. I told her as long as she is safe and happy, then everybody is happy.

She did was what best for her in the long run. The change of custody was the best thing for her. She will be happy with her mum. I’ve met her mum. She’s very nice. I don’t ever want to meet her dad. He doesn’t know Z has friends! Sigh. I still feel like what she did was the best for her. She will be financially and emotionally better off.  The best thing is she will be happier. She has changed alot. She thinks she is a shy girl with no confidence, man. She is completely lying to herself.  She got up the courage to go to court yesterday. I didn’t expect her to do that. Plus running from her dad! Boy, she is getting more brave than she thinks.

She told me she realised something. She doesn’t need her dad. Her dad needed her. He played the guilt card this morning which didn’t work. He kept calling her and her bro while they we re on the way to my place and they never answered. When we were playing games at my place, she never once said ‘May be I should call him’ or ‘ May be I should go back’. She didn’t. She was happy and laughing at the stupid jokes me and her bro were making about the game. She told her mum what had happened and they were to meet her that evening. I hope she is not mad at Z. She did the right thing. She did what was best for her. She will be happy.

She is happy.

She told me she wanted to dedicat this song to her dad. Just listen to the lyrics.




One response

12 06 2008

I loved your post! What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness.
“The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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