Twenty thousand miles from the place I call home
And twenty some odd years since the day I was born
And I’m searching, I’m still searching for answers
( Always have been searching for answers, since the day I was born. I never knew what was truely the right think to do. Like one of those situations where you killed a guy out of self defence)
People have often told me to chose a different road
That this one can get ugly, twisting turns that just grow old
But I’m walking, I don’t care if I’m walking alone
(I have considered myself adventurous and brave. But sadly, the few I can’t stand up to are the ones who care about me. I can’t stand up for who I am).
And I’m, screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer, where do I go from here?
( Screaming into the dark: hopeless. No one will find me. No one will truely help me. There is not much hope for me left. Try searching for something in a dark room. Hopeless right?)
I, I don’t know where I’m headed
Or if this is just a big mistake
( I have had my share of mistakes but every action I seem to take is a mistake. Everything I do is a mistake. I have no direction right now. I am lost. I made my mistake…I just don’t know what it is)
Something’s telling me that falling down
Is a chance that I’ll just have to take
( failing? hurting the majority? Is it really an option for me? Am I capable of doing so?)
I get on the bus and put down my bags
And take a final glance at the only home I’ve known
At the only home I’ve ever known
( When there was a situation I felt at home, now I am walking away from it. I felt wanted and cared for and understood. Very understood. Am I letting that all go for a reason? Yes. Am I letting it go for a good enough reason?…. I am unsure of that answer.)
And I’m screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer, where do I go from here?
(Was I pressured? Did the darkness pressure me? Did I get too scared? Was screaming into the dark and yelling at it and fighting it back getting hopless for me? Was it getting tiring for me?)
All of my life, I’ve been so comfortable
But I always knew, that there’d come a day
When I’d have to get out, get out
( 3 people as of now have told me that I am easily pressured. Is this the incident I break out and stand up for myself? Live for my happiness and not the happiness of everyone else?)
I’m sreaming into the dark, searching for an answer
Where do I go from here?
( Is there really hope? should I give up? Should I carry on?)
And I’m standing still but I can’t catch my breath
Already running as fast as I can but going nowhere
Where do I go from here?
(Is this failing me? Is this me falling? Is this me trying to fight back? Do I have the energy to fight back? Can I fight back? Do I want my happiness?)
That was a bit of soul searching too. But that is what the song meant to me.