My Lent Commitments

So Auditions for the passion play yesterday didn’t rock so much. Never mind. Today is a new day.

So I went for mass yesterday, and father went on about lent and our pentance for the year. I know what’s my pentance. It is something that will make me suffer, deprive me and yet it will be all for God.

I’m directing the Passion Play.

I am directing a bunch of annoying uncooperative and proud kids relive the last few moments of the life of Jesus Christ, the last few moments when the terror, sorrow and suffering took over everyone. Ironic isn’t it?

I don’t know how to make them see that. Make them see how important this is to me. How important this is is whoever is involved.

Do you know that if a play is horrid the director gets blamed? And if a play is brilliant, they actors get the credit! Life is unfair.

Just remember. God! I am doing this for the big guy up there. I bet he’s having a chuckle out of this.

This year, I am not going to be playful Cheyenne. No. Not this year. I won’t get work done. I am friends from last year join the play this year and if they think I am not serious they can just leave. The door is open for people to go! I’ll recast. It is not that difficult to recast.  I do not want to work with people who think they are the best and no need to audition. It doesn’t work like that. Friday is my first practise. I’ll have the script out and printed and photo copied for everyone. This Friday is a read through and we will start working on the first few stations. Hopefully i can get 2 or 3 stations done by this week.

Sigh. Right now I need the prayers of many for me not to drop dead on the ground. Oh dear Lord help me.

My calling?

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

I can’t do it. Not even if God called me.  It was just out of  impluse. Everyone was pointing fingers and was too afraid to take up the role. All the guys were like ‘NO WAY IM NOT DOING IT’ and in the end im the one that answer Aunty Eliz’s prayers. “Okay, I’ll do it” were the exact words that blurred out of my mouth.

And everyone just stared at me. Why? Why did I say that? I just agreed to direct this year’s passion play! WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I AM ONLY 16! OH WELL, not even 16 yet. What was I thinking? Best part was when i volentered no a soul disagreed. Oh great. Now, I am the director of the Pasion Play.

And on the way home I was thinking to drop it. I wanted to quit. I came back and went to the task although I had every idea to quit. I went searching for the book which I had to get the idea for the script from and then i came across the wrong book, thinking it was the right book. This book is entitled OUR FAITHFUL GOD.

And there is this story written by someone (it was left Anonymous). Anyways, I though I would share it. However, due to copy right laws….well you know the rest.

But it was very inspiring. The lord told the man to go three times and the man gave up excuses and at the fourth time the man agreed.  And it made me realise that I should do this.

SO

auditions will be this sunday, hopefully

It is all about Mindset.

This weekend is the biggest concert that Singapore will have ever; Singfest. It is so big that this weekend, the concert will go on for 10 hours for each of the two days.

… And yours truely doesn’t have a ticket.

There are reasons why I can’t go or get tickets. I’m not going to dedicate this post to my groans though. I am going to dedicate this post to my amasing Saturday evening.

Last night, my church had this Praise and Worship (PnW) plus fellowship night for the Confirmation ( Con) 3 level ( my level). I was leading them in the praise and worship along with the band( made up of about 5-6 guys including the ‘lead singer’) and the ‘choir’ ( of about 9-10 girls and 1 guy). When the teens started strolling into the Parish Hall, we were all prepared. I peered out at the ‘audience’. They all looked really gloomy. It must be because they didn’t have Singfest tickets either. I told myself that forget about Singfest. We can have fun right here in church ( all the catholic teens must be really calling my crazy right about now).

The truth was that we could have fun singing praise to God. I just depends on how you looked at it. I saw it like my own mini Singfest. Yes, there weren’t any international bands but they had their friends singing their lungs out and playing so well so that they can get enthusiastic. Yes, it might not be a big area but most don’t have to take an hour to get to church from their homes. Most importantly ( since we are talking about Singaporeans here), this event was FREE (except for the 3 dollars for snacks). The band and singers aren’t paid or anything. A Singfest ticket if I am not wrong cost about $200 to $350( Singapore currency) a night. Honestly speaking( or typing),  I rather pay nothing and have fun than pay alot and still have fun.  

 I had fun last night. Really I did. It was my Singfest. It was a concert to me and I loved it.  Many thought it was boring ( and rather be at Singfest ‘having fun’).

Coming to my point. What is ‘fun’ and what is ‘boring’? Last night got me thinking ‘May be it is all mindset’. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I saw last night as fun and got really excited about it. Everyone who didn’t have to perform saw it as something they had to do and that it was boring. I pity them. With that mindset, they would be the ones who had the least fun and I think they did had the least fun last night.  It is a pity. They didn’t participate and were not in the right mindset yet they complain it was boring. As I often said before people are so contradicting.

There is a good thing about last night I loved so much. After about 2 hours or so the entire PnW group was very close. Sorta like a family.

Here is a picture of us. It is sorta blurry but you can still see how pretty close we are.

 

 

 

Until next time.

Did we exist yesterday?

This is interesting. How do you know you existed yesterday? I think it is a pretty good question brought up by one of my teachers.  We had this class discussion on the matter. We kept voicing our arguments and my teacher kept rebutting.

How do you know you existed yesterday? You stayed up all night? Not very possible. I’m thinking about what my teacher. According to him, we wake up ever morning and we can’t confirm we existed yesterday.  Our memory of yesterday or of last month could be uploaded in to our brains( or something like that). It isn’t easy to explain. It’s like Sims. Starting a character from starch and the character doesn’t know he didn’t exist yesterday and we could be paused and played at any time. Strange concept, I know.

It was just a though. God could have a sims game loaded in his computer a long time ago and is controlling everything we do.

The truth doesn’t always sound like it.

I was thinking. Recently, alot of my friends and family have told me stories which are very personal to them and when I listen to them, sometimes I wonder if they are telling the truth. Their stories don’t sound real or credible and it is very hard to understand if they are really telling the truth. I trust them all and therefore I believe them but it isn’t always easy.

For a while now, I have reason to believe that whatever my cousin K says isn’t very credible. She and me are known as twin cousins; I am 16 hours older than her (she was suppose to be due a week after me). She’s taller than me and  takes me out with her friends and trys to convince them that she is older but I keep spoiling it .

The poor girl has a cheating boyfriend and won’t break with him. She’s making excuses and everything.  This is another story all together tho.

She keeps telling me stories which are very unbelievable. Some of my friends too.

Lots of this stories aren’t believable because we have this mindset of not seeing situations like this being possible. Sometimes fiction is more believable than non-fiction because it seems credible and possibly likely to happen.  When people make documentaries about real happenings, the people watching it will think its fiction. Its a sad truth but its the truth all the same.

If only all the discrimination in the world stopped

I’m thinking about what to blog about that this extreme moment. I have had two comments on my two post regrading america which  feel I need to attend to.

OK, I have nothing against America or its people or its leaders. I have a comment saying China is fully supporting Iran and all the middle eastern countries and saying that China is helping them out with nuclear weapons. I honestly feel ( and I don’t care if you people totally disagree) that this war is not because of nuclear weapons; it is because of discrimination and racism. It is naturally human fo people to favorite the ones they like, I’m fine with that because I too favorite people. However, even if I don’t favorite people, I respect them as a person. I grew up learning to respect all people. You may hate them, but don’t go smashing cake in their faces or something.

Yea, I might not be as well up to date with what is happening with the world but I do know there is alot of hate going on. If leaders of the world for example lets say G.W. Bush were to keep on hating and disrespect people who are different, everyone is going to follow him. This is a complete repeat of history. Remember the years when the ‘whites’ felt they were higher than the ‘blacks’. Yep, I can bethat stuff like this still is happening in our world only now it is more promenant in the battle between the muslims and the people who think muslims are the enemy. One of my best friends is a muslim and when I hear about stuff like this, it just pisses me off.

Does anyone want to know why there are terrorist in this world? Because people are teased and bullied and discriminated until they can’t take it anymore and they hurt innocent people because they have no other way to show their anger. They know if they try to make peace, people are likely to call them names and beat them up in a dark alley way. Terrorism is a result and  a cause. A result of people being discriminated and a cause of more people dying.

I’m not blaming America for all the discrimination in this world. Other countries are discriminating Iran and the middle east too. You just tend to hear alot more about America going to war with certain people in the news than other countries thats all.

To all my african american brothers and sisters in the lord, please understand the suituation others are going through because you went through it once before.

To all my friends around the world, stp the madness. You want to stop discrimination, stop all of it.

The ‘American way’ might not be the right way after all…

I need to do this post real quick.

I hate how the world is becoming ‘americanised’. The american way is not the right way all the time.

Example:’
A very good friend of mine told me that yesterday she was molested by a guy we both know. He feels that he defended her during many arguements in our group and that she needs to please his desires as a way of thanks. She has a boyfriend and she feels that this is like cheating on him and the guy molested her. I don’t know the exact full details. They were too traumatising for her to recall.

She thinks that his guy is thinking american sytle. I have to agree. He thinks he can sleep and play around with different people because he did them ‘favours’. I have lost all respect for him. He hurt my friend. In a previous incident he gave away my concert ticket to some random girl because he thought the girl was ‘hot’ ( his hot isn’t really hot). Good thing another friend had an extra ticket for me.

Anyways, he hurt my friend. I’m going to take this very personally although I’ve said I didn’t want my personal life on here. She is my friend. I love her so much, she is like a big sister to me and for him to go and hurt her, well, he is just asking for a big ass kicking.

It is considered a crime here in Singapore. She hasn’t made a report yet tho. Our teacher adviced her to make a report. I did too. It was for her own good. He needs to be taught a lesson. I don’t think she wants this guy to go around hurting other girls too. Stop him now before more lives are ruin.

I don’t think she has shared this with anyone but me and my teacher. We were singing in the ‘choir’ for mass and he was playing the key board and he kept disturbing her. I thought it was a friend-friend thing at first until after mass when she told me. She didn’t tell me who the guy was. I thought it was the usual lift molesting. It wasn’t until my teacher asked her if she knew the fellow and she said yes and immediately I knew who it was. My teacher figured it out too.

I really hope that all girls who are in the above situation realise that it doesn’t matter if he is your close friend or just your friend, he has no right to harm you in anyway. Report it immediately. Take my advice. If you let the fellow run around and do this to more girls, more lives will be ruin.

Stop the madness.

Change and people who make them

I was watching a video on my previous post about ellen discussing a tragic death of an openly gay boy, Larry King.

After watching the video for about 5 times in the past week, I viewed it again in tribute of Larry. This time instead of concerating what Ellen had to say about the suituation, I was focused on he being gay and her coming out despite being the most hated or laughed at woman in Hollywood. Her coming out has invited many others to do so as well. Ellen is a hero to many and is a role model to all. She is to me. You know how everyone says, one person can change the world? Ellen has just proven that pharse. More people are coming out and more people are accpeting that their bestfriend just might be gay.

Ellen did change the world. She didn’t do it alone. She had the support of her friends, producers, writers, family and fans. People accepted that their favorite comedian is gay and now Ellen’s daytime tv show is very popular with many stars being featured. Ellen came out from hiding. Many people followed. Many more accepted that there are gays in the community of the United States.

Ellen spoke her mind and she told the truth. Someone else did the same. George Carlin.Some of you would know about George Carlin’s death. Tragic. He was an entertainer who didn’t care or worry about other people and always spoke his mind. This gave him his humour, finding loop holes and twisting reality. I didn’t want to blog about his death. It is a sad thing. I didn’t want to blog about it. d

I will say proudly that George and Ellen have changed the world in their own ways. This world and its people should always be ready for change. It will come and it can never be avoided.

Tragic death; Gay Hate Crime

Cute guy, sorry but you have to admit Larry is cute.

Is this what our world has become? If you want to be all religious about this, you are going to tell me that being Gay is a deadly sin and sends you straight to hell. I’m going to ask you ‘How do you know? You aren’t God! Did God tell you in a dream that homosextually is worse than any of the 7 deadly sins?’  I don’t think so.

People make up religious excuses to hide their fear of change.Actually, people make up excuses of any kind to hide all their fears.

If you ask me, I think killing someone is worse than being a homosextual. Scorning is so hurtful. The entire homosextual community knowns it. ( I won’t use the term gay here. It sounds informal and rude). Being bullied and scorned is very harsh but killing someone who is a homosextual, you are just asking for an up-roar among the homosextual community.

I call upon the homosextual community to be patient. Justice will come.

Everyone else, change your mindset on homosextuals. They are people, just like you and me.

 

I wonder how god does his job

Playing Sims is not the easiest game in the world to play! I was trying to play with just two charectors and I’m fed up! I wonder how god feels.

Being god aint easy. He handles how many hundreds and thousands of people all over the world. Sims gives you a taste of how god works but if you gave a human the job of handling the entire world, oh boy. One, you will have a crummy world ( have you watched bruce almighty?) and two, the person will give up after knowing what it is is like being god. We should give the big guy up the some credit worrying about everyone in the world.

Then again, everyone goes about saying god has this master plan he drew out about 5000  years ago. OH, so thats how you play Sims! You make a plan and then you play it. What if people don’t want to do what your plan is? Ask god what happens next. When what you planned to happened, doesn’t happen. In the mortal world, if you plan something and it back fires you say its gods will. If you were god, looking down on everyone and noticed that what you planned 5000 years ago is not happening, then what do you say? Its gods will. But you are god! Then  its the people’s will.

You can’t help but wonder about these things.