Welcoming 2011 with a new habit.

Adventure must start with running away from home. William Bolitho.

Dear World,

I know it is a coupld of days before the actual new year, but I thought I would promise my readers that I will commit to a new habit. What brought this on you might ask? Well, recently, I have been reading some articles and blogs about improving my writing. Many mention a form of a niche, something I concerntrate on. But, being me, I can’t really do that. I have too many opinions about way too many things. So, to try and keep my blog fresh, I will commit myself to find appropreate quotes to start each post.

I happen to like quotes. And may be it will help you too.

Let’s look at the one that starts this post. Adventure must start with running away from home.

I hope everyone gets that there is a potential hidden meaning under this quote. Home= security. ANYTHING that makes your feel secure. Adventure is all about taking risks; stepping out of your comfort zone.

There are a few reasons why this quote kind of starts off 2011, although not officially. Firstly, next year is my A level year and in terms of my theatre studies,  I might have to take big risks in order to be able to try and hit my best potential. Secondly, its a dare for you. In 2011, I would like everyone reading this to try and do something really really unusual for you. Be it bungee jumping or trying some new mexican cuisine. You don’t have to do it at the BEGINNING of the year. Take your time with this. If you know you can get impatient try a jig saw puzzle, 750 pieces.

Actually, everyday has potential for new experiences and new posibilities. You just need to run away from ‘home’ and take that risk.

My future, my choice

Today I went out with my cousins and my friend, Dhivya but only one cousin ( plus Dhivya) had dinner with me at Singapore flyer.  We had a discussion about my future. Upon getting my O level results, I will have to make a choice. A junior Collage(JC)? A polytechnic? Singapore School of the Arts(SOTA)? Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts(NAFA)? Private Arts school?

When I am looking at JCs, she asked me why waste my time? Polytechnic is a wonderful route. And if you are interested in drama, enter SOTA.( note: I am tired!!! I don’t remember all the words to that conversation.what she really said isn’t the above…its just paraphrased).

I just got ticked off. She is in Normal Academic Stream which does 5 years of Secondary School so she heads back tomorrow while I did 4 years in the Express stream ( Singaporean NA readers this is not discrimination! I am just explaining to others who do not fully get our education system).

I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to really do. I mean I am at a crossroads and I don’t want to regret anything and I have been taking my time with this decision.

I just got an application for a scholarship. It is in engineering but I am not fully interested in that.

I don’t know. I think everyone should stop worrying about everyone else’s futures and worry about their own.

I forgive my cousin if anyone like wants to know. I can’t stay mad at her for long.:)

We are just Ordinary People

Before I begin, let me just ask you all something. Did 2009 seem to past by fast? Through out 2009 I felt the earth spinning faster. Everything just seemed to go really fast and there was no time to stop.

A couple of days ago I bought the soundtrack of FAME with my Christmas money. I saved the soundtrack on my laptop and into my Ipod nano. There is one song that I can’t help but constantly listen to. Ordinary people by Asher Book.

We’re just ordinary people
We don’t know which way to go
’cause we’re ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we’ll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we’ll take it slow

Above is the lyrics from the chorus. It is actually a love song. But the chorus is amasing.We are Ordinary people. We need to take it slow. Think about 2009 for a little bit please. Did it not go by fast for you? Did you rush through anything?WHY? We are people. Not robots. There is nothing to rush. We humans rush like crazy to save time and with all the saved up time we have, we just waste it on TV or something really lame. We need to slow down.

To all the working folk, calm down. Settle deals slowly this year. A rushed brain lowers productivity. Do things slowly and well and be done with it. Not do it fast and then it ends up to be crappy.

To students, including those in Polys, Universities, Pre-U or other standards, in exams take your time. Don’t rush. You miss stuff out when you rush through everything then you don’t do well. What is the point?

To everyone, let 2010 be meaningful. Let it have a slow pace so that you get the job done and can smell the wonderful roses at the same time. We have to enjoy 2010 and yet we do not understand why.

I dare each and every person here to slow down for 2010. Take time to breathe. You have to let your brain think for a little while and slow down. You are an Ordinary person. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER

We are Ordinary People. To my fellow Ordinary People, ‘this time we will take it slow’

With my regards

Cheyenne Phillips

Graduation: really the end?

Dear World,

Tomorrow, the graduating classes of 2009 of my school are having our Graduation Ceremony. I do recall posting my review on HSM 3, stating that it was a scary movie, the scariest I have ever watched and I still say that til today. People asked me why. If you have seen the movie and if you were to step in my shoes ( which a lot of people can do because I have big feet),you will know what I am talking about.  I haven’t been posting for studies have taken up my time, or well most of it. 27 days to my O levels if anyone is wondering. Today, me and my friends celebrated our improved Prelim results so today is my day off. Since tomorrow is my big event, no studying will take place. Hey! Sunday I’m mugging. Don’t worry so much.

Not my point. The thing is, I have been going on about the big O that I forgot about graduation.

Today I had Youth mission with my class and other classes and we had to write on these paper hearts to people we have hurt or who we would like to apologise to and if I was given more than one heart, I would have written to many of my classmates. If you must know, I wrote to my former soccer buddy. She would always bring her soccer ball to school when we were in Primary school together and we and some other friends would play on the field. Strange coming from an all girls school but true story. In fact, it was the only thing I could remember from primary school and wrote to her saying that it was the best time ever. We had fun, got into some trouble but hey we were kids.

I received 2 hearts one apologising to me about something that happened in Primary school and grateful that we could move on ( I can’t remember what happened by the way) and the other from my drama president and I went to talk to her and when I was talking to her and how she was feeling, it made me want to write another heart to her. I think  I will, later tonight. There are things I would love to apologise for her for.

It is so strange when strangers tell you the truth, that you have lost friends and gained new ones but still we should keep the old. They are still friends.

Graduation tomorrow will be the saddest event for me. It doesn’t matter that I will still see these people for another 2 weeks, I know I am going to cry. A classmate said the sweetest thing when she was asked what she would miss the most and she shouted out our class. I might not have many good relations with some of my classmates but if they are reading this right now, I will miss the fun times, or the strange times or those annoying, distracting times. Wacky personalities break up serious moods and keep people moving on. I thank them, even if they didn’t like me, I still thank them. They influenced the way my two years went.

This might not be very original but I am not writing an original story I am writing a true one. I have also mentioned that I hate writing about my personal life but hey, there is always a lesson in everything. This is not exactly a lesson this is a tribute.

I want to grow up, in fact I watched my first NC 16 movie today but I don’t want to leave my school. I have been there 10 years. The values taught have been instilled into me. I can name all 4 of them by heart.

I just don’t believe I am graduating. I never thought this day would come.

With regards,

Cheyenne

the school of the future

Trust me when I say I am do not only like the school of the future because I want to become a student there. No. I actually believe that that is our future. If were a heading towards a future that is very high-tech and very advance then shouldn’t technology already be intergrating with learning? Shouldn’t all this be already in our classrooms? In my short 15.8 years,I have heard many telling the world ‘The children are our future’. So shouldn’t our future understand and begin to experience what the future is going to be like?

Sometimes I get the vibe from people that in the FUTURE, they are just going to wait for other people to invent stuff and discovery that cure for incurable AIDS. I really do get that vibe.

I just told my mother about this and she keeps going HMMHMM!

Sigh…

Excuses.

To be perfectly honest I hate people who make excues for themself.

Today during The BIGGEST LOSER, this pair made excuses to notfinish the challange when they lost. But the thing is even the two other pairs did not win but they still finished their challange. Finish what you started. No matter ho hard, difficult or time consuming it is.

Also, I was helping out some friends with their school play today. Many made excuses that they were nervous and couldnt do as instructed. I pulled them apart and worked one on one. The shy one that had a chunk of lines could do it more easily than he previously did and the other could beat box ( which is so cool) and he did not want to do it cause it was ‘embarrasing’. He ended up doing as suggested after he beat boxed for 36 seconds straight. He kept saying he could not. But he did! sigh….

excuses. a trick of the mind to tell you that you cant.

Words

People use a lot of words. To me, words are just what they are. Words. Words without actions are just words. People tell each other they love you or that they care. Sorry is another popular one.

They are all words. Words mean nothing to me. It’s the actions. I love actions people show others. I find them more real. I really do. I don’t know how to explain it. People use words all the time. People say stuff they dont mean or cause friendships to die because of the words they say. I believe in actions. Cause actions speak louder than words.

I try and watch the words I use. I never want to make people assume stuff I dont mean.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I understand that it might be alittle too late for this movie preview since the curious case of benjamin button came out a year ago however, I was unable to watch it as it was rated and I was underage. This year the movie came out on CD and DVD and my dad bought it. For me, the movie has ended and I watched all 80 years of Ben’s life.

This has been a very anticipated movie for me. I have been jumping up and down and I was so close to being so desperate to watch this movie, I would have killed. NAH! kidding.

But I seriously wanted to watch the movie.

And I am very happy that I did.

I swear, I was crying for the last hour of the film. And the movie was 2 hours long. I cried for half a movie. And I will admit it. It just made you appreciate the possibilities. It opened more eyes. Yes, this movie opened more eyes than 100 movies put together. It opened an eye for a possible story of several lives of men. It opened up an eye to what true love and sacrifice meant. It opened an eye to show many of us how much a father loves his daughter and how he would go through to provide for her. Ben did so many things I would have liked to do like travel the world, sail and meet interesting and new people. The other characters, like Ben’s crew mate who gave Ben all his pay to give to his wife, also showed and taught great lessons. Like the sailor who continuously thought about his family. Like the sailor who left to save his life. Like the twins, how they fight on land and be at peace on sea and then one died. It opened up a world of history too, a part of history I never thought I would have the chance to see.

I believe the most important lesson taught was from Mr. Cake the clock man. The blind man who built a clock that ran backward. If time ran back ward, his son would be home. If time ran back ward, no one would be at war.

For me, if time ran backward, I would have never make the mistakes. I would have never had made my choices. I never would have learnt the lessons people taught me and I would not have understand myself better.

It doesn’t matter what the past was. Or even if the clock runs backwards. Or if you age backwards. Time runs forward. I suggest we run along with it.

Where do I go?

I would love to thank Fran to introducing me to this song. However, your interpretation of it might be very different from mine. Lets look at the lyrics.

Twenty thousand miles from the place I call home

And twenty some odd years since the day I was born

And I’m searching, I’m still searching for answers
( Always have been searching for answers, since the day I was born. I never knew what was truely the right think to do. Like one of those situations where you killed a guy out of self defence)

People have often told me to chose a different road

That this one can get ugly, twisting turns that just grow old

But I’m walking, I don’t care if I’m walking alone
(I have considered myself adventurous and brave. But sadly, the few I can’t stand up to are the ones who care about me. I can’t stand up for who I am).

And I’m, screaming into the dark

Searching for an answer, where do I go from here?
( Screaming into the dark: hopeless. No one will find me. No one will truely help me. There is not much hope for me left. Try searching for something in a dark room. Hopeless right?)

I, I don’t know where I’m headed

Or if this is just a big mistake
( I have had my share of mistakes but every action I seem to take is a mistake. Everything I do is a mistake. I have no direction right now. I am lost. I made my mistake…I just don’t know what it is)
Something’s telling me that falling down

Is a chance that I’ll just have to take
( failing? hurting the majority? Is it really an option for me? Am I capable of doing so?)

I get on the bus and put down my bags

And take a final glance at the only home I’ve known

At the only home I’ve ever known
( When there was a situation I felt at home, now I am walking away from it. I felt wanted and cared for and understood. Very understood. Am I letting that all go for a reason? Yes. Am I letting it go for a good enough reason?…. I am unsure of that answer.)

And I’m screaming into the dark

Searching for an answer, where do I go from here?
(Was I pressured? Did the darkness pressure me? Did I get too scared? Was screaming into the dark and yelling at it and fighting it back getting hopless for me? Was it getting tiring for me?)

All of my life, I’ve been so comfortable

But I always knew, that there’d come a day

When I’d have to get out, get out
( 3 people as of now have told me that I am easily pressured. Is this the incident I break out and stand up for myself? Live for my happiness and not the happiness of everyone else?)

I’m sreaming into the dark, searching for an answer

Where do I go from here?
( Is there really hope? should I give up? Should I carry on?)

And I’m standing still but I can’t catch my breath

Already running as fast as I can but going nowhere

Where do I go from here?
(Is this failing me? Is this me falling? Is this me trying to fight back? Do I have the energy to fight back? Can I fight back? Do I want my happiness?)

That was a bit of soul searching too. But that is what the song meant to me.

friends…

I figured I must be going something terribly wrong because I seem to be losing my friends.  One decision made and told made everyone around me seem different. My friends don’t like my decision and I don’t want to fight them. We are friends. We don’t fight. We support and care of each other. So what am I doing so wrong that I hurt everyone around me?

Strangely enough I feel likt Troy Bolton. I feel like my friends are tearing me down and not backing me up. I’ll quote my cousin when I asked her to stop. She said it’s my life. Yes, it is. I know every one is looking out for me but that is what they tell me. I can’t help but wonder you know….

Well, whatever doesnt kill me makes me stronger.